Saturday, March 22, 2008

Speeding 4 fun

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too!!!!

Don't Mess With Old Ladies


Mary Ann (Moanna) said...

I love love love this. Not that I'm an old lady or anything.

TroubleX2 said...

me either :)

annie kelleher said...

haha - very very funny! happy spring :).

Mom said...

Oh - that was SO funny. Thank you for a much needed laugh...

happymommy said...

that was so funny! hope u had a great easter! :)

domesticgoddess said...

omg I love it!

Anonymous said...

Funny! Thanks for my morning laugh.

rskirk55 said...

Too funny! I think I knew this woman, she was my mother-in-law. She was not an evil person, but she had a mischievous streak. She would still be howling with laughter over the joke. I am getting old. Blessings. Steve Kirk blogs on senior health at

Pinay Jade said...

Hahaha this is funny. I could use this when I'm older;)